A Look Into the Mind of a Sociopath

The Writer (Drunken)

Not sure if it should really be a discovery or not, but I guess since I am noticing it and I am sharing it I should at least call it something.  I have found out that while drunk I become more philosophical and I always have the urge to write.  I’m not sure if I feel this way because of the obvious affects of alcohol or if it is some subconscious desire to vent to someone/something or hell if it is even just me remembering all the times I have heard/seen/experienced someone who was/is a writer and how they always gain some amazing ability to write.  Seems to me that Alcohol is an amazing muse.  If you were to ask me a few years ago if Alcohol helped write I probably would not have even put any thought into the due to the fact that it seems a person needs to be completely coherent to write… But there is always that other side of the story kind of like when you have fictionalized accounts of writers such as Hank Moody of Californication fame or Jack Torrance from the Shining who are alcoholics or substance abusers and the writer they conjure is simply amazing (These are, of course, just a few of the many fictional accounts.) I don’t even want to name all of the non-fictional people whom these souls, quite possibly, draw their inspirational creation from.  If you were to pick 10 of the greatest writers from the last century, I can almost guarantee that at least 7 of them have or are currently taking drugs/alcohol to enhance the way they think or feel or act to inspire those great stories you hear… The reason I write this and I seem to have drawn it out quite a bit was to plainly state that while inebriated I have the urge to just write either thoughts or feelings and I can almost feel… truly feel emotions or whatever you may explain it as… I seem to always fake everything like emotions and it’s quite tiring and I want to stop but I can’t because it’s the way I was raised to show those “emotions”.  I just want to be me.  I think as a writer who is in their fledgling stages I can attempt to convey what I think and observe while intoxicated and maybe, just maybe, feel.  Who knows though?  I understand that my writing style jumps from topic and has many different ideas behind it but that’s the great thing about doing it.  I. Can. Do. Whatever. I. Want.  I create the words and put them were I want them to paint a picture or an understanding of a person, place or thing.  I don’t feel the need to sell to someone or put a obligation on any one person to understand what I’m writing or why I’m writing but hell if you want you can jump into my world